Hello. Here is the start of something new. Over my life I’ve had several blogs, all blogs I’ve never managed to keep up with. I think it’s because all of them were focused on the new, the wonderful, and the constant race of keeping up with the world. Well, here I am saying… it’s exhausting.
I’m at a point in my life where it’s become so incredibly tiring of comparing my life to everyone else. Because they travel the world and I don’t, they made an outstanding grade and I didn’t, or they’re in love and I’m not. We live in a world where we thrive off each other. Literally, if someone is isolated without contact with other people, years of psychological trauma is likely to develop. So why shouldn’t we stay connected and stay in the know? Especially with the world today, where all you have to do is open the Facebook app or post a picture on instagram.
For me, it’s never been an issue of conformity. I’m all about the be your own person and do your own thing lifestyle. Maybe now it’s different because, I look at my plan for my life- my hopes, my aspirations, and my intentions, and look at what the reality is… I see that they are two lines that aren’t lining up the way they should.
So, what now? Give up? Through in the towel? Say to yourself well my life is a failure because my life isn’t like so-and-so’s? That’s the dilemma I’m facing now. How do I not only find the courage to live each day with joy and determination, despite it’s uncertainties…. how do I ultimately find contentment with what I have been given?
Life is a blessing. It’s something I’m working on remembering. I don’t want to see anyway commit suicide or have to hear about someone’s uncle dying because… life is a blessing. But right now, with the mental state I’m in, I’m struggling with seeing that my life is a blessing. No matter the outcome. But the thing is, no matter where you go, no matter what you do, no matter who you love, and what you say… there is something good in life. There is some blessing. Maybe it’s hidden or maybe it’s out in the open.
I just have to go out there and find it.